funny answering machine messages jokes

Hi! This is Mary. I'm afflicted with lysdexic procrastination. Please leave your message before the tone and I'll get around to getting it straight.

This is a test. This is a test of the Answering Machine Broadcast System. This is only a test.

Meat Loaf's "I'd Do Anything For Love":

And I would do anything for calls,

I promise I will call you back;

I would do anything for calls,

But I can't talk right now and that's a fact.

I'm not home right now, so I just can't answer the phone,

No way,

But I would do anything for calls,

Oh, I would do anything for calls!

Just let me know who it was who called,

And I'll call you back!

Yes, I'll call you back!

Just leave a message at the tone,

I'll hear it when I get back home,

And I will call -- you -- back!

"The Check is in the Mail" by Weird Al Yankovich:

Well hey how you doin'? Have a seat have a drink,

Boy it's good to see you what can I say,

Oh sorry got to run we'll get together again,

Say what was your name anyway?

Well we're working on the problem --

We'll get back to you soon,

Don't try to call me I'll be in a meeting every afternoon for a year, maybe longer, keep in touch, thanks for dropping by and have a nice day.