funny answering machine messages jokes

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funny answering machine messages


answering message 144
 
 
I can't come to the phone right now because I'm down in the basement printing up a fresh new batch of twenty dollar bills. If you need any money, or if you just want to check out my handiwork, please leave your name, number, and how much cash you need after the tone. If you're from the Department of the Treasury, please ignore this message.

answering message 110
 
 
Steve: Hello. Steve and Matt aren't here right now, but if...

Matt: Steve, what are you doing?

Steve: I'm leaving a phone message since we aren't here.

Matt: But you left the last one -- it's my turn.

Steve: No, I'm sure it's my turn.

Matt: No, you're wrong. It's definitely my turn.

Steve: You fool, I know it's... Wait... Matt... What are you doing with that frying pan? (BONK... THUD)

Matt: Steve is out right now, so please leave your name and number.

answering message 183
 
 
Thank you for calling the CSU Automated Hearing Test Line. Prepare for Test 1. Is this tone louder in your left ear or right ear? ... BEEP

answering message 80
 
 
Hi, dudes, this is 229-3053, the Teenage Mutant Hero Turtles' secret underground hideaway. I'm afraid we're all out just now on a desperate mission to save the Planet from boring answering machine messages, but if you know what The Shredder has done to April O'Neill, or if you know where he is, or if you can think of a decent pizza recipe, just leave your name and number and we'll ring you right back. But don't say anything yet! Enemy agents may be listening. When the computer has checked they're not eavesdropping, it will make a bleeping noise and you can speak freely.


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