funny answering machine messages jokes

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funny answering machine messages


answering message 144
 
 
I can't come to the phone right now because I'm down in the basement printing up a fresh new batch of twenty dollar bills. If you need any money, or if you just want to check out my handiwork, please leave your name, number, and how much cash you need after the tone. If you're from the Department of the Treasury, please ignore this message.

answering message 110
 
 
Steve: Hello. Steve and Matt aren't here right now, but if...

Matt: Steve, what are you doing?

Steve: I'm leaving a phone message since we aren't here.

Matt: But you left the last one -- it's my turn.

Steve: No, I'm sure it's my turn.

Matt: No, you're wrong. It's definitely my turn.

Steve: You fool, I know it's... Wait... Matt... What are you doing with that frying pan? (BONK... THUD)

Matt: Steve is out right now, so please leave your name and number.

answering message 202
 
 
Mom, Dad... Don't you think it would be easier to reach me if I had a cellular phone? So how about an early birthday present?

answering message 97
 
 
"Camptown Races":

I can't come to the telephone; doo-dah, doo-dah.

Leave your message when you hear the tone; oh, de doo-dah day.

Might be gone all night... Might be gone all day...

So leave a message when you hear the tone.

I'll call you back someday...


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