funny ads

These are supposedly actual signs that have been found in and around parts of England.

Notice in a field: THE FARMER ALLOWS WALKERS TO CROSS THE FIELD FOR FREE, BUT THE BULL CHARGES

Message on a leaflet: IF YOU CANNOT READ, THIS LEAFLET WILL TELL YOU HOW TO GET LESSONS

Sign on a repair shop door: WE CAN REPAIR ANYTHING. (PLEASE KNOCK HARD ON THE DOOR - THE BELL DOESN'T WORK)

Sign at Norfolk farm gate: BEWARE! I SHOOT EVERY TENTH TRESPASSER AND THE NINTH ONE HAS JUST LEFT

Seen during a conference: FOR ANYONE WHO HAS CHILDREN AND DOESN'T KNOW IT, THERE IS A DAY CARE ON THE FIRST FLOOR

Outside a photographer's studio: OUT TO LUNCH: IF NOT BACK BY FIVE,OUT FOR DINNER ALSO

Spotted in a safari park: ELEPHANTS PLEASE STAY IN YOUR CAR

These are supposedly actual signs that have appeared at various locations.

At my University's Student center Bathrooms: "If you see four feet instead of two under the bathroom door, please notify it immediately to the University Police."

In the hallway of a High School in New Jersey "Our School: Commitment, Responsibility, Attitude, Persistance."

Road sign in Roosevelt, Utah: "Rest Area Next Right" - the next right leads a person right into to a cemetery.

A sign in the local opportunity shop says, "If your going to steal, then smile for the camera."

While stopped at an intersection I noticed a man standing on the corner in front of a Burger King. He was holding a ign that read "Will work for food." If he had only looked up, he would have noticed that the Burger King sign directly a bove him read "Now hiring."

At an office: "This job is only a test had it been an actual job, you would have recieved raises,bonses and promotions."

SEEN ON A BILLBOARD ALONG A HIGHWAY: "Caution: Objects in the mirror may have flunked drivers education."

These are actual newspaper headlines gathered from papers across the country.

Include your Children when Baking Cookies

Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says

Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers

Safety Experts Say School Bus Passengers Should Be Belted

Drunk Gets Nine Months in Violin Case

Survivor of Siamese Twins Joins Parents

Farmer Bill Dies in House

Iraqi Head Seeks Arms

Is There a Ring of Debris Around Uranus?

These are actual newspaper headlines gathered from papers across the country.

Stud Tires Out

Prostitutes Appeal to Pope

Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over

Soviet Virgin Lands Short of Goal Again

British Left Waffles on Falkland islands

Lung Cancer in Women Mushrooms

Eye Drops off Shelf

Teacher Strikes Idle Kids

Reagan Wins on Budget, But More Lies Ahead