Foreign

A tourist is in Spain, and goes to a fancy restaurant for dinner. As he looks around, he notices a diner being served a beautifully garnished dish with two gigantic meatballs in the middle. When the waiter asks him for his order, the man asks him about the meatball dish. The waiter explains that the meatballs are bull's testicles, and when the bull loses the bullfight, the bull is brought to the restaurant, and this beautiful dish is made.

The diner tells the waiter that he wants the bulls testicles for dinner, but the waiter tells him that only one bull a day is brought to the restaurant, but he can have it tommorrow. The diner agrees. The next day the diner goes to the restaurant, and orders the testicle dish. When his food is brought out, he notices that the meatballs are extremely small. He mentions this to the waiter, and the waiter replies, 'Well sir you have to understand, sometimes the bull wins'.

Osama bin Laden threatened Russia:

If you get caught up in this war... I'll hide from you too!

Bloke: Would you shag me for a million pounds?

Bird: Yes.

Bloke: Would you shag me for a fiver?

Bird: No, what do you take me for?

Bloke: I've already figured that one out. I'm just figuring out the price.

Two Irishmen walk into a pet shop. Right away they go to the bird section and Sean says to Paddy; "Dat's Dem". The shopkeeper comes over and asks if he can help.

"Yeah, we'll take four of dem dere budgies in dat cage op dere", says Mick, "Put dem in a pepper bag"

The shopkeeper does as asked and the two pay for the birds and leave. They get into Mick's van and drive until they reach a cliff with a 500ft drop.

"Dis looks loike a grand place", says Mick.

He then takes the two birds out of the bag, places them on his shoulders and jumps off the cliff.

Paddy watches as his friend drops off the edge and goes straight down for a few seconds followed by a loud "Splat!"

As Paddy looks over the edge of the cliff he shakes his head.

"Focket Dat," Paddy says, "dis budgie jumpin' is too dangerous for me..."

A few minutes later, Seamus approaches. He too has been to the pet shop and is carrying the familiar 'pepper bag.'

Seamus pulls a parrot out of the bag and Paddy notices that in the other hand Seamus is carrying a gun.

"Watch this Paddy" he says, as he launches himself over the edge of the cliff.

Paddy watches as half way down Seamus takes the gun and blows the parrot's head off. Seamus continues to plummet until he joins Sean's mashed remains at the bottom of the cliff.

Paddy shakes his head and says, "An oim never troyin' that parrotshooting oider..."

After a few minutes, Danny strolls up. He too has been to the pet shop and walks up with his 'pepper bag.'

Danny pulls a chicken out of the bag. He puts the chicken above his head, holds its legs and launches himself off the cliff with the same result.

Once more Paddy shakes his head.

"For me life Danny, first der was Sean wit his budgie jumpin, den Seamus parrotshooting and now you fockin' hengliding..."