Foreign

One hour later, Saddam sees his driver coming back from the farm. His clothes all wrinkled, a bottle of wine in one hand & a cigar in the other. "What happened to you?", inquires Saddam.

"Well," replies the driver, "the farmer gave me the cigar, his wife the bottle of wine & their 19-year-old daughter made wild, passionate love to me!"

"My God, what did you tell them?" demands the dictator.

The chauffeur responds; "Good evening. I am Saddam Husseins chauffeur & I have just killed the pig."

"Hello," the voice said. "This is Paddy at the Harp Pub in Ireland, I am ringing you to say me and a couple of me mates are declaring war on you!"

"Well Paddy," replied Saddam, "how big is your army"

"Well lets see there's me, my brother sean, my next door neighbour seamus and the local dart team."

"Ahh" said Saddam. "I must tell you that you are against 1 million men, 16000 tanks and 14000 armoured personnel carriers."

Paddy then hung up....The next day, sure enough, Paddy rung again, "The war is still on Mr. Hussein." Paddy said. "We now have some infantry and equipment."

"What would that be" Saddam asked.

"Well we have 2 combines, a bulldozer, and Father Murpheys Grey Fergy tractor," Paddy replied.

Saddam sighed "Paddy may I tell you that my army has increased to 2 million men since we last spoke."

"I'll get back to ya," Paddy said. Sure enough Paddy rang again, "Right Mr. Hussein, we've modified our two seater Harrigans ultra light plane with a gattling gun, and four boys from the Shamrock Pub have joined us."

Saddam cleared his throat lay back on his chair and said, "Paddy... I have 10000 bombers, 20000 fighter planes, and I am surrounded by surface to air lazer guided missles, and my army has incresed to 2 and a half million men since yesterday."

"Oh" said Paddy, "I'll have to ring ya back"

Paddy called again the next day and said "I'm sorry, but the wars been called off."

"I'm sorry to hear that, why the sudden change of heart?" asked Saddam.

"Well after a discussion over a couple of pints we decided there's no way we could feed two and a half million prisoners"

"Dukakis-Bentsen in '92"

"If you don't like the way I reign get out of small, neighboring countries"

"Bomb me, I need the insurance"

"Shi'ites happen"

There was this case in the hospital's Intensive Care ward where patients always died in the same bed, on Sunday morning at 11 a.m., regardless of their medical condition.

This puzzled the doctors and some even thought that it had something to do with the supernatural. Why the death? So the doctors decide to go down to the ward to investigate the cause of the incidents. So on the next Sunday morning few minutes before 11 a.m., all doctors and nurses nervously wait outside the ward to see for themselves what the terrible phenomenon was all about. Some were holding wooden crosses, prayer books and other holy objects to ward off the evil........ Just when the clock struck 11....

Scroll down for what happened...

Santa Singh, the part-time Sunday sweeper, entered the ward and unplugged the life support system so that he could use the vacuum cleaner.