There is a ray of light from the sky and a voice booms out: 'No you are NOT screwed. Pick up that stone in front of you and bash the head of the chief.'
So the explorer picks up the stone and proceedes to bash in the head of the chief. He is breathing heavily while standing above the lifeless body. Surrounding him are the 100 native warriors with a look of shock on their faces.
The voice booms out again: 'Okay.......NOW you're screwed!'
Salt and pepper beard more.
Apply for US citizenship.
Lose weight -- no more delicious McDonald's cultural hegemony!
Bad-mouth US in front of Middle Eastern diplomats more.
Daily affirmation: "I am not the tool of the world's sole superpower!"
Make the UN more bureaucratish.
Write resolution to write more resolutions condemning the rogue state of Luxembourg.
Talk to US President more in broader terms - "African People Hungry," "Arabs Hate You," "Germany no likee war. Now." Perhaps speak slower.
Finally count out Third World dues change jar.
Resolve to cut the word "Secretary" from title. "General Annan" catchier.
Change name of UN Security Council to either "THE STAR CHAMBER", or "THE LEAGUE OF EXTRAORDINARY GENTLEMAN", or "THE GUNS AND MISSILES CLUB".
Switch lame blue helmets of peacekeeping forces to ninja masks.
Make sure diplomatic immunity applies to downloading illegal nude photos of that smoking broad Condi.
Do charter bi-lines allow the UN to stockpile Weapons of Mass Destruction of their own? Could be help when negotiating with uppity Western Nations. Look into it this year. FOR REAL THIS TIME!!!!
Once as Laloo was coming out of airport, there was huge rush and the security guard told him, "Wait Please."
To which Laloo replied, "65 kgs," and moved on.
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