The farmer said, 'That pig is the bravest pig I ever saw.'
'So why does he have a wooden leg?' the tourist asked.
'Well one night our house caught on fire. And he came into our house and he woke us all up.'
'So,' the tourist asked again, 'why does that pig have a wooden leg?'
'Well, a pig that brave you can't eat all at once!'
When Samantha and Janet get to the farm, they tell the farmer what happened. The farmer raises a gun to their head and tells them to get a fruit, vegetable, whatever, just get something from the garden. Samantha grabs a turnip, and Janet grabs a single grape. Just as they come back into the farmer's house, Rebecca walks in. He tells Rebecca to do the same as they just did, and Rebecca heads off towards the garden. While she's out in the garden, the farmer tells Samantha and Janet to shove whatever they have up their ass, and who ever laughs, dies. Samantha laughs first, so the farmer shoots her. Then Janet laughs and she gets killed too.
So they are floating out of their bodies, and Janet asks Samantha why she died. Samantha said that the thought of sticking a turnip up your ass was just too funny. Samantha then asked Janet why she laughed, Janet said: "I saw Rebecca coming around the corner with a watermelon!"
The sky was dark,
The moon was high,
Just her and I.
Her hair so soft,
Her legs so fine,
I ran me fingers,
down her spine.
I didnt know how,
I tried my best,
To touch her breast.
I remembered my fear,
But slowly she spread,
Her legs apart,
And when she did,
I felt no shame.
All at once,
The white stuff came out!
At last. It's finished.
It's all over...
My first time,
Milking a cow.
"In the back of your truck there's a shotgun. Shoot the pig in the head and when it stops wriggling you can pull it out and throw it in a bush."
The farm worker agrees and signs off. About 10 minutes later he radios back. "Boss I did what you said, I shot the pig and dragged it out and threw it in a bush."
"So what's the problem now?" his Boss snapped.
"The blue light on his bike is still flashing!"
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