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the pig with the wooden leg
 
 
There was a tourist on a farm and he asked the farmer why one pig had a wooden leg.

The farmer said, 'That pig is the bravest pig I ever saw.'

'So why does he have a wooden leg?' the tourist asked.

'Well one night our house caught on fire. And he came into our house and he woke us all up.'

'So,' the tourist asked again, 'why does that pig have a wooden leg?'

'Well, a pig that brave you can't eat all at once!'

watermelon
 
 
Three girls named Samantha, Janet and Rebecca were driving through the country, when all of a sudden their car stalls. Samantha remembers seeing a farm a little ways back, so her and Janet walk to the farm, leaving Rebecca guarding the car.

When Samantha and Janet get to the farm, they tell the farmer what happened. The farmer raises a gun to their head and tells them to get a fruit, vegetable, whatever, just get something from the garden. Samantha grabs a turnip, and Janet grabs a single grape. Just as they come back into the farmer's house, Rebecca walks in. He tells Rebecca to do the same as they just did, and Rebecca heads off towards the garden. While she's out in the garden, the farmer tells Samantha and Janet to shove whatever they have up their ass, and who ever laughs, dies. Samantha laughs first, so the farmer shoots her. Then Janet laughs and she gets killed too.

So they are floating out of their bodies, and Janet asks Samantha why she died. Samantha said that the thought of sticking a turnip up your ass was just too funny. Samantha then asked Janet why she laughed, Janet said: "I saw Rebecca coming around the corner with a watermelon!"

my first time
 
 
My First Time

The sky was dark,
The moon was high,
All alone,
Just her and I.

Her hair so soft,
Her legs so fine,
I ran me fingers,
down her spine.

I didnt know how,
I tried my best,
To touch her breast.

I remembered my fear,
But slowly she spread,
Her legs apart,
And when she did,
I felt no shame.

All at once,
The white stuff came out!

At last. It's finished.
It's all over...

My first time,

Milking a cow.

a brunette a red head and a blonde were in ...
 
 
A brunette, a red-head and a blonde were in jail when they decided to break out. The girls broke out and the brunette said, "Let's hide in that barn, they'll never find us."

So they climed up the ladder and then the blonde threw it down.

The next morning, the cops said, "Come out with your hands in the air!"

The red-head said, "Hide in those baskets, they'll never find us!"

So the Brunette got in the first one, the red-head got in the second one and the blonde got in the third one. Meanwhile, the cops were getting a ladder set up and trying to get up there. Once they got up, the seargent ordered them to kick the baskets.

So the cop kicked the first one: "RUFF."

"It's just a damn dog!" yelled the cop.

The cop kicked the next one: "MEOW."

"It's just a damn cat," yelled the cop.

The cop kicked the next basket and the blonde yelled, "POTATOES!"


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