The Lone Ranger looked at him and said, "Wow, that's amazing! How did you figure that out?"
Tonto looked at the Lone Ranger and said, "Ear sticky!"
Peter Jennings: Why do you think the English lost the War of Independence?
Tony Blair: Rust on our equiptment.
Peter Jennings: Rust! Can you elaborate?
Tony Blair: Rust, you see, affected our leg weaponery. Our knee spears.
Peter Jennings: Knee spears? Why, I've never heard of such a thing!
Tony Blair: Really, I thought everyone had heard of Brit knee spears!
4. "I've seen this one before, Scully. His name is Casper and he's what we call a 'friendly' ghost."
3. "Look under the mask... this is no swamp monster. It's Mr. Handy, the owner of the old country store!"
2. "Well, Agent Mulder...you've caught us. We'll cooperate fully, of course."
1. "Gosh, I guess we were wrong. The government did have our best interests at heart, after all."
--Caught Eminem fantasizing about killing other women.
--Sick of hiding her love for the Insane Clown Posse.
--Sure, he talks and raps like a black man, but when he takes down his pants...
--Would rather end up like Nicole Kidman than Nicole SIMPSON.
--Overheard 5-year-old daughter shouting, "Faggot!" while watching "Mr. Rogers".
--Recently overtaken by a strange and unfamiliar compulsion to live past the age of 35.
--I mean come on, people. . . the dude LOST TO STEELY DAN!!!
--Thanks to a recent surgery, her head's no longer implanted deep within her own rectum.
...And The Top Reason Eminem's Wife Filed For Divorce. . .
--Sick of dating a rich, famous, abusive bastard. Would like to try a poor, unknown abusive bastard for a change.
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