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* In the long-distant past, its only purpose was to transmit information considered vital to the survival of the species. Some people still think that's the only thing it should be used for, but most folks today use it for fun most of the time.
* It has no conscience and no memory. Left to its own devices, it will just do the same damn dumb things it did before.
* It provides a way to interact with other people. Some people take this interaction very seriously, others treat it as a lark.
*Sometimes it's hard to tell what kind of person you're dealing with until it's too late.
* If you don't apply the appropriate protective measures, it can spread viruses.
* It has no brain of its own. Instead, it uses yours. If you use it too much, you'll find it becomes more and more difficult to think coherently.
* We attach an importance to it that is far greater than its actual size and influence warrant.
* If you're not careful what you do with it, it can get you in big trouble.
* It has its own agenda. Somehow, no matter how good your intentions, it will warp your behavior. Later you may ask yourself 'why on earth did I do that?'
* Some folks have it, some don't.
* Those who have it would be devastated if it were ever cut off. They think that those who don't have it are somehow inferior. They think it gives them power. They are wrong.
* Those who don't have it may agree that it's a nifty toy, but think it's not worth the fuss that those who do have it make about it. Still, many of those who don't have it would like to try it.
* Once you've started playing with it, it's hard to stop. Some people would just play with it all day if they didn't have work to do.
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In Turkey, Mehmet Esirgen, 52, tried to cure his sexual impotence by having a penis transplant -- using a donkey as the donor. The wire service Agence France-Presse reported that three times Esirgen brought home a donkey, amputated its sexual organs and appealed in vain for a doctor to perform the operation. Apparently the third time so annoyed his family that his son shot him in the leg.
In one of the strangest alliances ever encountered by law enforcement in the Amish community of Pennsylvania, members of the Pagans Motorcycle Club allegedly conspired with some young Amish men to sell "multiple kilograms" of cocaine to Amish youth groups. The drugs were to be sold to the Amish youths during hoedowns. The deals took place in Gap, PA, minutes east of Intercourse, PA.
Combustion
The BBC reported British researchers duplicated and solved the gruesome paranormal mystery of spontaneous human combustion, where bodies burn completely, except for the legs, while nearby furniture remains untouched. After successfully burning a pig carcass they said human fat, ignited by a little as a cigarette, can cause a 'wick effect,' burning for hours and consuming a body like a candle.
Kaleef the Blacksmith Had
One Down the Street, Where The Big Hole Is
A second stray U.S. Tomahawk missile was found in Pakistan as that country mounted interview efforts asking citizenry if they've seen any more.
It Only Hurts When I Reboot
In England, Professor Kevin Warwick, head of the University of Reading's Cybernetics Dept,
claimed to be the first person in the world to have a computer chip surgically implanted
into his body. In a demo, his computer greeted him with “Good morning, Professor Warwick.
You have five new E-mails.”
Classy Ending Of the Day
Slovenia's state-run news agency reported on the death of 'passionate' fisherman Franc
Filipic, 47, who drowned after hooking a huge lake sheatfish (like a catfish) and refusing
to let go as he waded in and was pulled under. Friends reported his last words were 'NOW
I've got him!' Divers found his body after a two-day search.
Sticks and Stones...
800 were left injured, 25
critically, at the annual Gotmar festival near Chhindwara in India. A traditional part is
where residents from two nearby villages gather on opposite sides of a river to hurl rocks
and abuses at each other, before feasting and rejoicing together later. Getting hit is
considered a good omen.
Nice Goggles. Designer?
Cadillac will offer a night vision option in its 2000 DeVille. It uses military-like
infrared sensors to create a 4-by-10-inch windshield projection just above the steering
wheel. Warm objects like people appear white. Auto mag reporters say it works, revealing
pedestrians some 200 yards before headlights pick them up.
Naughty Nurses
The United Kingdom Central
Council of Nursing, Midwifery and Health sent letters warning 640,000 British nurses to
stop using offensive abbreviations in their notes which go into patients' records.
Examples include BUNDY (but unfortunately not dead yet), PIN (pain in the neck), and FLK
(funny looking kid).
Where IS Everybody? Burp
The state of Illinois will discipline Dr. Bennet Braun, a prominent psychiatrist who they say took repressed-memory therapy too far. Braun convinced Pat Burgus, 42, (who already sued successfully for $10 million) that she possessed 300 personalities, served in a cult, and sexually abused her children (two of whom she was persuaded to hospitalize for three years). Also that she ate human flesh meatloaf made from 2,000 people a year, despite the fact that she lived in a tiny Iowa town.Page 49 of 72 «« Previous | Next »»