Entertainment

Q: How many lead guitarists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: One. The guitarist holds the bulb and the world revolves around him!

A regular guy and Tyra Banks are the only survivors of a shipwreck. They somehow find themselves on a deserted island. At first, Tyra wants nothing to do with the very average guy, but after a while they become friends, then lovers.

One day the guy asks Tyra to dress in his clothes and meet him on the other side of the island. Tyra is taken aback by the request, but eventually decides there is no harm in it and agrees. She waits for him on the beach, and he soon arrives. He runs up to her, breathless and excited.

"You'll never believe who I have been screwing!"

What's black and white and red all over?

Mimes in a chainsaw fight.

5. "Sure we could have these people killed to protect what they know... but isn't that a little harsh?"
4. "I've seen this one before, Scully. His name is Casper and he's what we call a 'friendly' ghost."
3. "Look under the mask... this is no swamp monster. It's Mr. Handy, the owner of the old country store!"
2. "Well, Agent Mulder...you've caught us. We'll cooperate fully, of course."
1. "Gosh, I guess we were wrong. The government did have our best interests at heart, after all."