Entertainment

Which Search Engine does Arnold Schwarzenegger use?

Alta Vista baby.

of Montezuma

Harry Potter and the Sorcerer from NAMBLA

Harry Potter and the Painful Rectal Itch

Harry Potter and the Decline of Literacy

Harry Potter and the Sticky March Issue of Hustler

Harry Potter and the Sorceress's Sore

Harriet Potter after the Life-Altering Surgery

Harry Potter and the Curse of the Lisp

Harry Potter and the Inflatable Sheep

Harry Potter and Spinning Grave of Tolkien

Harry Potter and the Trenchcoat Mafia

Harry Potter and the Carnivorous Pony

Harry Potter and the Over-Hyped Children's Author and Clever Marketing Campaign

Harry Potter and the Unexplainable Wad of Tissues

A mystery-lover takes his place in the theater for opening night, but his seat is way back in the theater, far from the stage. The man calls an usher over and whispers, 'I just love a good mystery, and I have been anxiously anticipating the opening of this play. However, in order to carefully follow the clues and fully enjoy the play, I have to watch a mystery close up. Look how far away I am! If you can get me a better seat, I'll give you a handsome tip.'

The usher nods and says he will be back shortly. Looking forward to a large tip, the usher speaks with his co-workers in the box office, hoping to find some closer tickets. With just three minutes left until curtain, he finds an unused ticket at the Will Call window and snatches it up. Returning to the man in the back of the theater, he whispers, 'Follow me.' The usher leads the man down to the second row, and proudly points out the empty seat right in the middle. 'Thanks so much,' says the theatergoer, 'This seat is perfect.' He then hands the usher a quarter.

The usher looks down at the quarter, leans over and whispers, 'The butler did it in the parlor with the candlestick.'

How can you pick out Dolly Parton's kids on the play ground?

They're the ones with the stretch marks around their lips!