cinderella gets some ash
Cinderella wants to go to the ball, but her wicked stepmother won't let her. As Cinderella sits crying in the garden, her fairy godmother appears,and promises to provide Cinderella with everything she needs to go to the ball, but only on two conditions.
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'First, you must wear a diaphragm. But if you're not home by 2 AM, your diaphragm will turn into a pumpkin.' Cinderella agrees, but she doesn't roll in until five in the morning, looking love-struck and very satisfied.
'Where have you been?' demands the fairy godmother. 'Your diaphragm was supposed to turn into a pumpkin three hours ago!'
'I met a prince, Fairy Godmother. He took care of everything.'
'I know of no prince with that kind of power! Tell me his name!'
'I can't remember, exactly. It was Peter, Peter, something or other...'
how sauron of "lord of the rings" is like a woman:
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- Both have been called "the greatest enemy of men"
- Think they should rule the world
- They obsess over jewelry
- They spread gossip like the plague
- They boss kings around like servants
- They have an eye that sees all, or at least claim to
- They hold a grudge for hundreds of years
miss piggy's addition
Why can't Miss Piggy count to 70?
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Because she gets a frog in her throat at 69.
drooling drummer
Q: How can you tell if the drummer's platform is level?
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A: Drool is coming out of both sides of his mouth.
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