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britney spears 'n' pepsi
What does Britney Spears and pepsi have in common?

They both come with plastic jugs

pillsbury doughboy
Q: What does the Pillsbury Doughboy have underneath his apron?

A: Dough-nuts

another dumb blonde
A young ventriloquist is touring the clubs and one night he's doing a show in a small club in a small town in Arkansas. With his dummy on his knee, he's going through his usual dumb blonde jokes when a blonde woman in the fourth row stands on her chair and starts shouting: 'I've heard enough of your stupid blonde jokes. What makes you think you can stereotype women that way? What does the color of a person's hair have to do with her worth as a human being? It's guys like you who keep women like me from being respected at work and in the community and from reaching our full potential as a person, because you and your kind continue to perpetuate discrimination against, not only blondes, but women in general...and all in the name of humor!'

The ventriloquist is embarrassed and begins to apologize, when the blonde yells, 'You stay out of this, mister! I'm talking to that little jerk on your knee!'

star wars -vs- star trek
12. In the Star Wars universe, weapons are rarely, if ever, set on 'stun'.
11.The enterprise needs a huge engine room with an anti-matter unit and a crew of 20 just to go into warp -- the Millenium Falcon does the same thing with R2-D2 and a Wookie.
10. After resisting the Imperial torture droid and Darth Vader, Princess
still looks fresh and desirable -- after pithy Cardassian starvation torture, Picard looks like hell.
9.Jabba the Hutt would eat Harry Mudd for trying to cut in on his action.
8. Luke Skywalker is not obsessed with sleeping with every alien he encounters.
7. One word: lightsabers!
6.The Federation would have to attempt to liberate any ship named Slave I.
5.The Death Star doesn't care if the Earth is class M or not.
4. Darth Vader could choke the entire Borg empire with one glance.
3. Picard pilots through the Enterprise through an asteroid belt at one-quarter inpulse power. Han Solo floors it.
2. Aliens have make-up in other places than their foreheads.
1. Death Star vs. Enterprise!

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