doctor doctor jokes

Doctor, Doctor I keep thinking I'm a snake about to shed it's skin.
Why don't you go behind the screen and slip into something more comfortable then!

Doctor: You need new glasses
Patient: How do you know?, I haven't told you whats wrong with me yet
Doctor: I could tell as soon as you walked in through the window!

Doctor, Doctor I think I'm a snail
Don't worry we'll soon have you out of your shell!

Doctor, Doctor I feel like an apple.
We must get to the core of this!

Doctor, Doctor I think I'm a butterfly
Will you say what you mean and stop flitting about!

Doctor, Doctor I'm boiling up!
Just simmer down!

Doctor, Doctor I think I'm an adder
Great, can you help me with my accounts then please!

Doctor, Doctor I keep painting myself gold
Don't worry it's just a gilt complex!

Doctor, Doctor I've broke my arm in two places
Well don't go back there again then!

Doctor, Doctor I think I'm a dog.
How long have you felt like this?
Ever since I was a puppy!
Doctor, Doctor I feel like a pack of cards.
I'll deal with you later!

Doctor, Doctor I think I'm turning into a frog
Your just playing too much croquet!

Doctor, Doctor I think I'm a yo-yo.
Are you stringing me along!

Doctor, Doctor I dream there are monsters under my bed, what can I do?
Saw the legs off of your bed!

Doctor, Doctor When I press with my finger here... it hurts, and here... it hurts, and here... and here... What do you think is wrong with me?
You have a broken finger!

Doctor Doctor I feel like biscuits!
What, you mean those square ones?
Yes!
The ones you put butter on?
Yes!
Oh, You're Crackers!

Doctor, Doctor My little boy has just swallowed a roll of film!
Hmmmm. Let's hope nothing develops.

Doctor, Doctor I feel like a pair of curtains
Well pull yourself together then

Doctor, Doctor I snore so loud I keep myself awake
Sleep in another room then!

Doctor, doctor my baby's swallowed a bullet
Well don't point him at anyone until I get there!

Doctor, Doctor I've just swallowed a pen
Well sit down and write your name!

Doctor, Doctor I'm becoming invisible.
Yes I can see you're not all there!

Doctor, Doctor I keep thinking I'm a frog
What's wrong with that
I think I'm going to croak

Doctor, Doctor I keep thinking I'm a vampire.
Necks please!

Doctor how can I cure my sleep walking?
Sprinkle tin-tacks on your bedroom floor!

Doctor, Doctor my sister thinks she is a lift!
Well tell her to come in
I can't she doesn't stop at this floor!