College

Q: What do rocks and boobs have in common?

A: If they're flat, you can skip them.

Albert Einstein used to go to dinners where he was invited to give a speech. One day, on his way to one of those dinners, he told his chauffeur (who looked exactly like him) that he was dead tired of giving the same speech, dinner after dinner.

"Well," said the chaffeur, "I've got a good idea. Why don't I give the speech since I've heard it so many times?' So Albert's chauffeur gave the speech perfectly and even answered a few questions. Then, a professor stood up and asked him a really tough question about anti-matter which the chauffeur couldn't answer

"Sir, the answer to your question is so easy that I'll let my chauffeur answer it!"

Last semester I took macroeconomics and didn't have a clue what I was doing (as cited on the final exam). There were 80 multiple choice questions. For some reason I decided to play the game of probability and choose the letter "A" for everything. In that game, the only thing probable was that I failed.

The following day, the professor asked to see me after class. "Is everything okay?" "Sure," I said, "why? "Well, here's your test," he said and handed me a piece of paper that was covered with red ink. "Can you explain why you chose an 'A' for everything?"

Knowing that there was nothing I could do at this point, I said, "Well, I've always wanted to be an 'A' student."

There was a blonde, a brunette and a red head. They were all sitting in a hair salon talking about their daughters. The brunette says, "I was lookin throuh my daughter's purse and I found a pack of cigarettes! Do you believe that my daughter smokes!! So then the redhead says, "Oh my gosh, I was looking through my daughter's purse and i found alcohol! Do you believe she's been drinking!! So then the blond says "I was looking through my daughter's purse and I found a condom! Do you believe my daughter has a penis?!"