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College


college rules
On the first day of college, the dean addressed the students, pointing out some of the rules:

"The female dormitory will be out-of-bounds for all male students, and the male dormitory to the female students. Anybody caught breaking this rule will be fined $20 the first time. Anybody caught breaking this rule the second time will be fined $60. Being caught a third time will cost you $180. Are there any questions?"

One student raised his hand and asked, "How much for a season pass?"

corpsalicious!
One day a medical professor and his class were standing over a corpse and the professor said, 'There are two things to being a medical forensicist. First: Don't fear anything.'

After saying that, the professor shoved his middle finger up the corpse's anus and licked it. He then told the class to do the same.

After hesitating, they all did it.

'Next,' the professor said, 'you have to have a key observation finger. Thus, I licked my index finger.'

count chock full of nuts
Q: Why can't a blonde count to 70?

A: Because 69's a mouthfull.

counting condoms
A boy goes to the drug store with his dad and sees the condom display.

Boy: "Dad, why do they do packs of one condom?"

Dad: "Those are for the high-schoolers for Friday nights."

Boy: "So, why do they make packs of three?"

Dad: "For the college guys for Friday, Saturday and Sunday nights."

Boy: "Then why do they make packs of 12?"

Dad: "Those are for married couples -- you know, January, February, March."


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