love is blindness
A little boy was in his room playing with himself, when his father walked in.
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"Son! If you masturbate too much, you're gonna go blind!"
"Dad," the boy said, "I'm over here."
dad eats lightbulbs
Little Johnny has to write a story about someone in his family that does something amazing. The next day, he returns and tells the class that his father eats lightbulbs.
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"How do you know that?" asks his teacher.
"I heard him say it. He and Mom were in the bedroom and he said 'I'll only eat that thing if you turn out the light.'"
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