Children

What's red and furry and tackles people?

Tackle Me Elmo!

You might be a redneck if your baby's first words were, "Attention, K-mart shoppers."

Three boys were sitting on some steps watching cars go by. They see a Cadillac Escalade drive by and the first boy says, "I wish i could have that Cadillac. The second boy says, "I wish I could have that Lincoln Navigator behind it. The third boy says, "i wish my whole body was covered in curly hair because my sister has a small patch between her legs and that is how she got both of those cars.

A few months after his parents were divorced, Little Johnny passed by his mom's bedroom and saw her rubbing her body and moaning, "I need a man, I need a man!"

Over the next couple of months, he saw her doing this several times.

One day, he came home from school and heard her moaning. When he peeked into her bedroom, he saw a man on top of her.

Little Johnny ran into his room, took off his clothes, threw himself on his bed, started stroking himself, and moaning, "Ohh, I need a bike! I need a bike!"