church
One Sunday morning, a little girl and her mother go to church. Halfway through, the little girl tells her mother she's going to be sick. Her mother tells her to go in the bushes behind the church. The girl leaves and comes back after about five minutes. Her mother asks her if she threw up.
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'Yes," the girl says. "But I didn't have to go all the way 'round the back. There was a box near the front door that said 'For the Sick.'
daughter's prayer
A family was having some people to dinner. At the table, the mother turned to her six-year-old daughter and said, "Dear, would you like to say the blessing?"
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"I wouldn't know what to say," replied the little girl, shyly.
"Just say what you hear Mommy say, sweetie," the woman said.
Her daughter took a deep breath, bowed her head, and solemnly said, "Dear Lord, why the hell did I invite all these people to dinner!?!"
kite tails and rejection
One day a father and son are flying a kite. The kite is going in circles and crashing. The father comforts the son and the mother yells, 'You need more tail!'
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The father then tells the son, 'Son, I will never understand your mom. Last night when we were having 'fun', I asked her for more tail and she told me to go fly a kite.'
breakfast of champions
Yo mama so stupid, she opened up a box of Cheerios and said, "Look, my Alphabet Soup spells 'Ooooo.'
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