Children

A little boy gets on a bus and sits behind the busdriver. As they're driving along, he sings, "If my daddy was a bull and my mommy was a cow, then I'd be a little bull." Annoyed, the busdriver tells the little boy to sit down, but the little boy continues, "If my daddy was a stag and my mommy was a deer, I'd be a little stag." The busdriver, tells the boy to shut up, but the little boy keeps singing, "If my daddy..." The busdriver suddently turns around and asks, "What if your daddy was gay and your mommy was a hooker?" The little boy then begins singing, "If my daddy was gay and my mommy was a hooker, then I'd be a busdriver."

Q: How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: Two, but no one knows how they got in there.

Two lions are walking along the beach. One turns to the other and says "It's awfully quiet today isn't it?"

One day a man walked in on his son masturbating. He said, "Now son, if you don't stop masterbuting, you'll go blind!" The son replies, "Hey dad! I'm over here!"