Children

A little boy runs across this farmer who has a truckload of cow manure. The boy asks him what he is going to do with all that cow poop. The farmer tells the little boy, 'I'm taking it home to put on my strawberries.'

The little boy looks up at the farmer and says, 'I don't know where you come from, but where I come from we put cream and sugar on our strawberries.'

Joe and Wanda had a small apartment in the city and they decided that the only way to pull off a Sunday afternoon quickie with their ten-year-old son in the apartment was to send him out on the balcony and order him to report on all the neighborhood activities. To a young boy, they thought, spying would be a lot of fun and would distract him for an hour or so.

The boy began his commentary as his parents put their plan into operation.

"There's a car being towed from the parking lot," he said.

"An ambulance just drove by."

A few moments passed.

"Looks like the Andersons have company," he called out. "Matt's riding a new bike and the Coopers are having sex."

Mom and Dad shot up in bed. "How do you know that?" the startled father asked.

"Their kid is standing out on the balcony too," his son replied.

What did the blind, deaf, mute quadraplegic boy get for Christmas?

Cancer!

Q. How do you catch a unique rabbit?
A. Unique up on it.

Q. How do you catch a tame rabbit?
A. Tame way.