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Children


the truth
 
 
At school, a boy is told by a classmate that most adults are hiding at least one dark secret, and that this makes it very easy to blackmail them by saying, "I know the whole truth" -- even when you don't know anything.

The boy decides to go home and try it out. As he is greeted by his mother at the front door he says, "I know the whole truth." His mother quickly hands him $20 and says, "Just don't tell your father."

Quite pleased, the boy waits for his father to get home from work, and greets him with, "I know the whole truth." The father promptly hands him $40 and says, "Please don't say a word to your mother."

Very pleased, the boy is on his way to school the next day, when he sees the mailman at his front door. The boy greets him by saying, "I know the whole truth." The mailman drops the mail, opens his arms and says, "Then come give your FATHER a big hug."

stone surprise
 
 
One day there were two boys playing by a stream when they saw a woman bathing naked. All of a sudden one of the boys took off running. The other boy took off after his friend. After he caught up to him, he asked why he ran away.

"Well," the boy said, "my mom told me that if I ever saw a naked lady I would turn to stone, and I felt something getting hard so I ran."

dad eats lightbulbs
 
 
Little Johnny has to write a story about someone in his family that does something amazing. The next day, he returns and tells the class that his father eats lightbulbs.

"How do you know that?" asks his teacher.

"I heard him say it. He and Mom were in the bedroom and he said 'I'll only eat that thing if you turn out the light.'"

the teacher's gift
 
 
It was the last day of school, and all the students were bringing presents for their teacher. A florist's daughter came up and gave her teacher a box.

The teacher said, I'll bet these are flowers!" The girl replied, "How did you know?"

"Just a lucky guess," she said.

Next, a boy whose family owned a candy store came up and gave the teacher a box. She said that she knew it was candy. When the boy asked how she knew, she again said, "Just a lucky guess.'"

Finally, a boy whose father owned a liquor store came up and gave the teacher a box, but one of the box's corners was damp from a leak. The teacher asked the boy if it was wine. The boy said, "No." She touched the leak and put it to her tongue and asked if it was champagne. The boy again said no.

Finally, she gave up and asked him what was in the box.

He said happily, "A puppy!"


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