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retired marine
 
 
A retired US Marine was looking for a new job. He finally found one that appealed to his interests. At the interview, he was asked,

"Do you have any military experience?"

The Marine replied, "Why, yes! I've been in the Marines for a couple of years."

"I see," said the interviewer, "any disabilities?"

The Marine looked at him and replied shakily. "Well... In the Vietnam War I had a grenade go off between my legs, blowing off my testicles."

The interviewer, quite shocked, said "All right, you're hired. Please report to work on Monday at 10:00am."

"Wait wait!" shouted the Marine, "When do the others start? I don't want any special treatment just because of my disability."

The interviewer replied, "Well... I'll tell you the truth. Everyone normally comes at 7:00 in the morning, but nothing gets done until 10. All we do is sit around, scratching our nuts trying to figure out what to do."

how to sell a bible
 
 
Three little boys were looking for a summer job. Their preacher needed some people to go around and sell bibles. So the preacher hired two boys without even thinking twice. But he was hesitant about hiring the third boy because he suffered from a speech impediment.

So after the first days of work they all met back at the church. The preacher looked at the first boy and asked him, "How many bibles did you sell?"

The boy stood up and said, "35."

"Is that all you sold?" the preacher asked.

"He looked at the secound boy and asked him the same thing. The boy said, "75." "That is good," the preacher replied.

He didn't want to ask the third boy but did. The boy with the speech impedement said 'I-I-I s-s-sold 175.' The preacher was amazed and asked the boy how did he sell all of the bibles. He said 'I-I-I t-t-told them to b-b-buy t-t-them or I will r-r-read it to t-t-them'

signs your co-worker is a hacker
 
 
  1. Everyone who ticks him or her off gets a $26,000 phone bill.
  2. Has won the Publisher's Clearing House Sweepstakes three years running.
  3. When asked for their phone number, they give it in hex.
  4. Seems strangely calm whenever the office LAN goes down.
  5. Somehow gets HBO on their PC at work.
  6. Mumbled, "Oh, puh-leeeez!" 295 times during the movie "The Net."
  7. Massive 401k contribution made in half-cent increments.
  8. Their video dating profile lists "public-key encryption" among turn-ons.
  9. Instead of the "Welcome" voice on AOL, you overhear, "Good Morning, Mr./Ms. President."
  10. You hear them murmur, "Let's see you use that VISA card now, Professor "I-Don't-Give-A's-In-Computer-Science!"
i can tell this job sucks already
 
 
Boss (to the new employee): We are very keen on cleanliness. Did you wipe your feet on the mat as you came in?

New employee: Yes, sir.

Boss: We are also keen on truthfulness. There is no mat.


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