Business

Dear __________________________,

I regret to inform you that you have been eliminated from further contention as Mr. Right. As you are probably aware, the competition was exceedingly tough and dozens of well-qualified candidates such as yourself also failed to make the final cut. I will, however, keep your name on file should an opening come available. So that you may find better success in your future romantic endeavors, please allow me to offer the following reason(s) you were disqualified from the competition: (Check those that apply)

__ Your last name is objectionable. I can't imagine taking it, hyphenating it, or subjecting my children to it.

__ Your first name is objectionable. It's just not something I can picture myself yelling out in a fit of passion.

__ The fact that our finest dining experience to date has been at McDonald's reveals a thriftiness that I find unappealing.

__ Your inadvertent admission that you "buy condoms by the truckload" indicates that you may be interested in me for something other than my personality.

__ You failed the 20 Question Rule, i.e., I asked you 20 questions about yourself before you asked me more than one about myself.

__ Your breasts are bigger than mine.

__ Your legs are skinnier than mine. If you can FIT into my pants, then you can't GET into my pants.

__ You're too short. Any son that we produced would inevitably be beaten up repeatedly at recess. AMEN!

__ You're too tall. I'm developing a chronic neck condition from trying to kiss you.

__ The fact that your apartment has been condemned reveals an inherent slovenliness that I fear is unbreakable.

__ Although I do enjoy the X-Files, I find your wardrobe of Star Trek uniforms a little disconcerting.

__ Your frequent references to your ex-girlfriend lead me to suspect that you are some sort of psychotic stalker.

__ Your ability to belch the alphabet is not a trait that I am seeking in a long term partner.

__ Your height is out of proportion to your weight. If you should, however, happen to gain the necessary 17 vertical inches, please resubmit your application.

__ The fact that you categorize the ProBowler's Tour as 'Must See TV' demonstrated that you do not meet my intelligence requirements.

__ Somehow I doubt those condoms that I found in your overnight bag were really necessary for a successful business trip.

__ I am out of your league; set your sights lower next time.

Sincerely,

Both offer very little support!

The boss comes back two hours later and he sees the Englishman and the Irishman having a cup of tea. 'So have you done the work then?' he asks.

The workers both shake their heads and tell him that the Chinaman didn't give them a shovel or a wheelbarrow. The boss is infuriated by this and asks the workers if they have seen the Chinaman, they tell him they thought they saw him going toward the truck. So the boss sets out towards the truck and just as he is getting close to the truck the Chinaman jumps out from behind a wall and yells, "SUPPLIES!"

The architect said, “I enjoyed time with my wife, building a solid foundation for an enduring relationship.

The artist said, “I enjoyed time with my mistress, because of the passion and mystery I found there.”

The engineer said, "I like both."

"Both?" they questioned.

The Engineer said, "Yeah. If you have a wife and a mistress, they will each assume you are spending time with the other woman, and you can go to the lab and get some work done."