business one-liners 123
Peter's Principle: In every hierarchy, each employee tends to rise to the level of his incompetence.
Pudder's Law: Anything that begins well will end badly. (Note: The converse of Pudder's law is not true.)
Putt's Law: Technology is dominated by two types of people: Those who understand what they do not manage. Those who manage what they do not understand.
Putts-Brooks Law: Adding manpower to a late technology project only makes it later.
Quigley's Law: Whoever has any authority over you, no matter how small, will attempt to use it.
Ralph's Observation: It is a mistake to let any mechanical object realise that you are in a hurry. Corollary: On the way to the corner, any dropped tool will first strike your toes.
Reisner's Rule of Conceptual Inertia: If you think big enough, you'll never have to do it.
Pudder's Law: Anything that begins well will end badly. (Note: The converse of Pudder's law is not true.)
Putt's Law: Technology is dominated by two types of people: Those who understand what they do not manage. Those who manage what they do not understand.
Putts-Brooks Law: Adding manpower to a late technology project only makes it later.
Quigley's Law: Whoever has any authority over you, no matter how small, will attempt to use it.
Ralph's Observation: It is a mistake to let any mechanical object realise that you are in a hurry. Corollary: On the way to the corner, any dropped tool will first strike your toes.
Reisner's Rule of Conceptual Inertia: If you think big enough, you'll never have to do it.
business one-liners 124
Rhode's Corollary To Hoare's Law: Inside every complex and unworkable program is a useful routine struggling to be free.
Ross's Law: Bare feet magnetise sharp metal objects so they always point upwars from the floor-especially in the dark.
Rudin's Law: In a crisis that forces a choice to be made among alternative courses of action, people tend to choose the worst possible course.
Rudnicki's Nobel Prize Principle: Only someone who understands something absolutely can explain it so no one else can understand it.
Rule Of Accuracy: When working toward the solution of a problem it always helps you to know the answer.
Ryan's Law: Make three correct guesses consecutively and you will establish yourself as an expert.
Sattinger's Law: It works better if you plug it in.
Ross's Law: Bare feet magnetise sharp metal objects so they always point upwars from the floor-especially in the dark.
Rudin's Law: In a crisis that forces a choice to be made among alternative courses of action, people tend to choose the worst possible course.
Rudnicki's Nobel Prize Principle: Only someone who understands something absolutely can explain it so no one else can understand it.
Rule Of Accuracy: When working toward the solution of a problem it always helps you to know the answer.
Ryan's Law: Make three correct guesses consecutively and you will establish yourself as an expert.
Sattinger's Law: It works better if you plug it in.
business one-liners 125
Schemmer's Law (Organization & Programs): When an organization faces a 20 year threat, it responds with 15-year programs, organized with 5-year plans, managed by 3-year directors, and funded by 1-year appropriations.
Simmons's Law: The desire for racial integration increases with the square of the distance from the actual event.
SNAFU Equations: 1) Given any problem containing N equations, there will be N+1 unknowns. 2) An object or bit of information most needed will be least available. 3) Any device requiring service or adjustment will be least accessible. 4) Interchangeable devices won't. 5) In any human endeavor, once you have exhausted all possibilities and fail, there will be one solution, simple and obvious, highly visible to everyone else. 6) Badness comes in waves.
Thoreau's Theories Of Adaptation: 1) After months of training and you finally understand all of a program's commands, a revised version of the program arrives with an all-new command structure. 2) After designing a useful routine that gets around a familiar "bug" in the system, the system is revised, the "bug" taken away, and you're left with a useless routine. 3) Efforts in improving a program's "user friendliness" invariable lead to work in improving user's "computer literacy". 4) That's not a "bug", that's a feature!
Thyme's Law: Everything goes wrong at once.
Universal Technical Document Units Law: Characteristics, specifications, dimensions, and any other data included in technical documents must be stated in exotic units, such as "tenth of troy once per barn" for pressures, or "acre times atmosphere per kilogram" for speeds.
Vail's Second Axiom: The amount of work to be done increases in proportion to the amount of work already completed.
Simmons's Law: The desire for racial integration increases with the square of the distance from the actual event.
SNAFU Equations: 1) Given any problem containing N equations, there will be N+1 unknowns. 2) An object or bit of information most needed will be least available. 3) Any device requiring service or adjustment will be least accessible. 4) Interchangeable devices won't. 5) In any human endeavor, once you have exhausted all possibilities and fail, there will be one solution, simple and obvious, highly visible to everyone else. 6) Badness comes in waves.
Thoreau's Theories Of Adaptation: 1) After months of training and you finally understand all of a program's commands, a revised version of the program arrives with an all-new command structure. 2) After designing a useful routine that gets around a familiar "bug" in the system, the system is revised, the "bug" taken away, and you're left with a useless routine. 3) Efforts in improving a program's "user friendliness" invariable lead to work in improving user's "computer literacy". 4) That's not a "bug", that's a feature!
Thyme's Law: Everything goes wrong at once.
Universal Technical Document Units Law: Characteristics, specifications, dimensions, and any other data included in technical documents must be stated in exotic units, such as "tenth of troy once per barn" for pressures, or "acre times atmosphere per kilogram" for speeds.
Vail's Second Axiom: The amount of work to be done increases in proportion to the amount of work already completed.
business one-liners 126
Vuilleumier's Laws For Building Electronic Prototypes: First Law - Any pre-cut equipment is too short; this is specially true of optic fiber cables with expensive connectors at both ends. Second Law - If n electronic components are required, n-1 are available. Third Law (also known as "Selective Gravitational Field") - Any tool escaping manipulator's hands will not necessarily follow Earth's gravitational field, but will land in the most unreachable location in the prototype, smashing on its way the most expensive component of the prototype; this will know only one exception if the tool is particularly heavy, in which case it will land on the manipulator's foot. Fourth Law - When proteup first, thankfully leaving the fuses intact. Fifth Law - Prototype npn blackboxes actually hold pnp transistors, and vice-versa. Sixth Law - A quartz oscillator oscillates at a frequency off the rated one by a minimum of 25%, if it does oscillate at all. Seventh Law - When the prototype has been fully assembled according to lab instructions, a minimum of 11 components are left.
Cutler Webster's Law: There are two sides to every argument, unless a person is personally involved, in which case there is only one.
Weiler's Law: Nothing is impossible for the man who doesn't have to do the work.
Weinberg's Corollary: An expert is a person who avoids the small errors while sweeping on to the grand fallacy.
Wethern's Law: Assumption is the mother of all screw-ups.
Cutler Webster's Law: There are two sides to every argument, unless a person is personally involved, in which case there is only one.
Weiler's Law: Nothing is impossible for the man who doesn't have to do the work.
Weinberg's Corollary: An expert is a person who avoids the small errors while sweeping on to the grand fallacy.
Wethern's Law: Assumption is the mother of all screw-ups.
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