business jokes

Don't bite the hand that has your paycheck in it.

Don't blame me; nobody asked my opinion.

Don't do today that which can be put off till tomorrow.

Don't force it, get a bigger hammer.

Don't get lost in the shuffle, shuffle along with the lost.

Don't lend people money...it gives them amnesia.

Don't let your mouth write no check that your tail can't cash. - Bo Diddley

Don't look back, something may be gaining on you.

Don't make your doctor your heir.

Don't mess with Mrs. Murphy!

Don't permit yourself to get between a dog and a lamppost.

Don't stop to stomp on ants when the elephants are stampeding.

Don't try to have the last word; you might get it.

Don't worry about the sand in the Vaseline, they don't use it anyway.

Due to recent budget cuts and downsizing, the light at the end of the tunnel has been turned off.

Each problem solved introduces a new unsolved problem.

Eagles may soar, free and proud, but weasels never get sucked into jet engines.

Early to rise and early to bed makes a man healthy and wealthy and dead.

Easiest way to figure the cost of living: take your income and add ten percent.

Eat the rich. The poor are tough and stringy.

Efficiency is a highly developed form of laziness.

Eighty percent of all people consider themselves to be above average.

Enough research will tend to support your theory.

Entropy has us outnumbered.

Error is often more earnest than truth.

Even a stopped clock is right twice a day.

Even if the grass is greener on the other side: they, like you, still have to cut it.

Even paranoids have enemies.

Every silver lining has a cloud around it.

Every solution breeds new problems.

Everybody is somebody else's weirdo.

Everybody should believe in something, I believe I'll have another beer.

Everybody's gotta be someplace.

Everyone breaks more than the seven-year-bad-luck allotment to cover rotten luck throughout an entire lifetime.

Everyone has a scheme for getting rich that will not work.

Everyone has a scheme that will not work.

Everyone hits a brick wall now and then; the trick is not to do it with your head.

Everything east of the San Andreas fault will eventually plunge into the Atlantic Ocean.

Everything happens at the same time with nothing in between.

Everything in moderation, including moderation.

Everything is actually everything else, just recycled.