Business

IRELAND
"Are you magically delicious or just angry and drunk? This beer is black- did a leprechaun crap in it?"

FRANCE
"Can I get a side of Freedom Fries with that? Aren't the French just Germans who can make sauces?"

ITALY
"Is the Pope Polish? Does he have super powers like Jesus? I could sure go for a can of Spaghetti-O's! "

POLAND
"Do you hire foreigners to screw in your lightbulbs?"

GERMANY
"Is this bratwurst kosher?"

TURKEY
"Where's the hash at? It's cool to slaughter Kurds though, right?"

KOREA
"Can you watch my puppy for a minute, or must you people deep fry him?"

CHINA
"This wall isn't so great."

ENGLAND
"Did you ever get a piece of ass from that Diana chick?"

SWEDEN
"Do you have any normal meatballs? Want to hear a dumb blonde joke?"

YEMEN
"Yemen? That's a stupid name for a country. What's it mean ‘Land Of Fanatics And Desert'?"

INDIA
"You don't live in teepees? Where can I get a good juicy steak around here?"

ETHIOPIA
"After a long day of travel, I'm famished. Hey – those flies sure love your newborn!"

CANADA
"You're like Americans without money."

SPAIN
"So, this is the country that's not Portugal? Wow. Your women can shave if they want to, right? Where can I get some Cheez Whiz nachos?"

SOUTH AFRICA
"I liked it better the other way."

MEXICO
"Cancun is nice, but the rest of this third world country sucks!"

SAUDI ARABIA
"Would you like to see my designs for a solar powered car? Is it legal to beat your wives here, or what?"

RUSSIA
"Is it always this cold and economically devastated?"

UZBEKISTAN
"Can you spell Uzbekistan?"

GREECE
"I hear this place is a less expensive version of Italy. Anyone ever tell you that you resemble a Turk?"

AFGHANISTAN
"Seriously, where is the real country… where is everything?"

JAPAN
"What's Hiroshima? Is that a kind of sushi?"

AUSTRALIA
"How can we stop Mel Gibson? Is there a cure?"

AMERICA
"You mean, you're all not loud, stupid, and fat?"

*These questions should not be shouted in English.

Check out Gerhard Reinke's WANDERLUST, Saturdays @ 11:30 PM | 9 C on Comedy Central.

IRELAND
"Are you magically delicious or just angry and drunk? This beer is black- did a leprechaun crap in it?"

FRANCE
"Can I get a side of Freedom Fries with that? Aren't the French just Germans who can make sauces?"

ITALY
"Is the Pope Polish? Does he have super powers like Jesus? I could sure go for a can of Spaghetti-O's! "

POLAND
"Do you hire foreigners to screw in your lightbulbs?"

GERMANY
"Is this bratwurst kosher?"

TURKEY
"Where's the hash at? It's cool to slaughter Kurds though, right?"

KOREA
"Can you watch my puppy for a minute, or must you people deep fry him?"

CHINA
"This wall isn't so great."

ENGLAND
"Did you ever get a piece of ass from that Diana chick?"

SWEDEN
"Do you have any normal meatballs? Want to hear a dumb blonde joke?"

YEMEN
"Yemen? That's a stupid name for a country. What's it mean ‘Land Of Fanatics And Desert'?"

INDIA
"You don't live in teepees? Where can I get a good juicy steak around here?"

ETHIOPIA
"After a long day of travel, I'm famished. Hey – those flies sure love your newborn!"

CANADA
"You're like Americans without money."

SPAIN
"So, this is the country that's not Portugal? Wow. Your women can shave if they want to, right? Where can I get some Cheez Whiz nachos?"

SOUTH AFRICA
"I liked it better the other way."

MEXICO
"Cancun is nice, but the rest of this third world country sucks!"

SAUDI ARABIA
"Would you like to see my designs for a solar powered car? Is it legal to beat your wives here, or what?"

RUSSIA
"Is it always this cold and economically devastated?"

UZBEKISTAN
"Can you spell Uzbekistan?"

GREECE
"I hear this place is a less expensive version of Italy. Anyone ever tell you that you resemble a Turk?"

AFGHANISTAN
"Seriously, where is the real country… where is everything?"

JAPAN
"What's Hiroshima? Is that a kind of sushi?"

AUSTRALIA
"How can we stop Mel Gibson? Is there a cure?"

AMERICA
"You mean, you're all not loud, stupid, and fat?"

*These questions should not be shouted in English.

Check out Gerhard Reinke's WANDERLUST, Saturdays @ 11:30 PM | 9 C on Comedy Central.

"Hey, girls," says the brunette, "let's go home early tomorrow. She'll never know."

So the next day, they all leave right after the boss does. The brunette gets some extra gardening done, the redhead goes to a bar, and the blonde goes home to find her husband having sex with the female boss! She quietly sneaks out of the house and returns at her normal time.

"That was fun," says the brunette. "We should do it again sometime."

"No way," says the blonde. "I almost got caught."

MARKETING: You are ambitious yet stupid. You chose a marketing degree to avoid having to study in college, concentrating instead on drinking and socializing, which is pretty much what your job responsibilities are now. Least compatible with Sales.

SALES: Laziest of all signs, often referred to as "marketing without a degree," you are also self-centered and paranoid. Unless someone calls you and begs you to take their money, you like to avoid contact with "customers" so you can "concentrate on the big picture." You seek admiration for your golf game throughout your life.

TECHNOLOGY: Unable to control anything in your personal life, you are instead content to completely control everything that happens at your workplace. Often even YOU don't understand what you are saying, but who the hell can tell?! It is written that the geeks shall inherit the Earth.

ENGINEERING: One of only two signs that actually studied in school, it is said that ninety percent of all personal ads are placed by engineers. You can be happy with yourself: your office is typically full of all the latest "ergodynamic" gadgets. However, we all know what is really causing your "carpal tunnel"...

ACCOUNTING: The only other sign that studied in school, you are mostly immune from office politics. You are the most feared person in the organization; combined with your extreme organizational traits, the majority of rumors concerning you say that you are completely insane.

HUMAN RESOURCES: Ironically, given your access to confidential information, you tend to be the biggest gossip within the organization. Possibly the only other person that does less work than marketing, you are unable to return any calls today because you have to get a haircut, have lunch, and mail a letter!

MIDDLE MANAGEMENT/DEPARTMENT MANAGEMENT/"TEAM LEADS": Catty, cut-throat, yet completely spineless, you are destined to remain at your current job for the rest of your life. Unable to make a single decision you tend to measure your worth by the number of meetings you can schedule for yourself. Best suited to marry other "Middle Managers," as everyone in your social circle is a "Middle Manager."

SENIOR MANAGEMENT: Catty, cut-throat, yet completely spineless, you are destined to remain at your current job for the rest of your life. Unable to make a single decision you tend to measure your worth by the number of meetings you can schedule for yourself. Best suited to marry other "Senior Managers," as everyone in your social circle is a "Senior Manager."

CUSTOMER SERVICE: Bright, cheery, positive, you are a fifty-cent cab ride from taking your own life. As a child very few of you asked your parents for a little cubicle for your room and a headset so you could pretend to play "Customer Service." Continually passed over for promotions, your best bet is to sleep with your boss.