Blonde jokes

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Blonde


smart blonde
 
 
What do you call a smart blonde?

A Golden Retriever.

not going to try this again
 
 
A blonde decides to try horseback riding, even though she has had no lessons or prior experience. She mounts the horse unassisted and it immediately springs into motion. It gallops along at a steady and rhythmic pace, but the blonde begins to slip from the saddle. In terror, she grabs for the horse's mane, but cannot seem to get a firm grip.

She tries to throw her arms around the horse's neck, but she slides down the side of the horse anyway. The horse gallops along, seemingly ignorant of its slipping rider.

Finally, giving up her frail grip, the blonde attempts to leap away from the horse and throw herself to safety. Unfortunately, her foot becomes entangled in the stirrup, and she is now at the mercy of the horse's pounding hooves as her head is struck against the ground over and over.

She starts to lose consciousness, but to her great fortune, Bobby, the Wal-Mart greeter, sees her and unplugs the horse.

blonde - detectives
 
 
Three blondes were witnesses to a crime, so they went to the police station to identify the suspect. The police chief said he would show them a mug shot of someone for thirty seconds, then ask each one for a description. After showing the photo to the first blonde, he covered it, then asked her how she would recognize the suspect.

'Easy,' she replied. 'He only has one eye.'

The chief was stunned. 'He only has one eye because it is a profile shot! Think about it!' He repeated the procedure for the second blonde and again asked how she would recognize him.

'He only has one ear,' was her answer.

'What is the matter with you people?!? It is a profile shot! You are seeing him from the side!' He repeated the procedure for the third blonde, then said, 'How would you recognize the suspect? Now think before you give me a stupid answer.'

After viewing the photo, she thought for a minute, then said, 'He's wearing contact lenses.'

This took the chief by surprise. He looked real hard at the picture and couldn't tell if the suspect had contacts or not, so he went into the database and looked at the report. Sure enough, when the mug shot was taken, he was wearing contact lenses! He went back to her and asked, 'How could you tell he was wearing contact lenses? Nobody else here in this precinct saw that!'

'Well,' she said, 'he can't wear regular glasses with only one eye and one ear, now, can he?'

ouch!
 
 
A blonde's redhead decides to show her a neat way to trick people -- you put your hand on a wall and ask someone to punch it. But before they do, you pull your hand away!

"That is a neat trick," thinks the blonde, and tries desperately to remember it, but isn't all too successful. Despite this, she decides to try it out on her blonde friend.

"Okay," she says, "I'm going to put my hand in front of my face..."


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