Blonde

Why do blondes have TGIF written on their shirt?

It stands for, "Tits Go In Front."

A road consturction manager needed to hire someone to paint the yellow lines down the middle of a newly constructed road. A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead all get hired. They are each assigned a section of the road. The first day, the blonde paints 2 miles, the redhead 1.5, and the brunette only 1. On the second day, the blonde paints 1 mile, the brunette 2, and the redheaed 2.5. On the third day, the blonde only gets 1/4 of a mile done, the redheaed 3, and the brunette 3.5. The manager decides to talk to the blonde.

"You haven't been painting as much road as you did on the first day,' the manager said. 'What's the problem?'

'I'd be painting more, but the bucket keeps getting farther and farther away!'

How do you give a blonde a brain transplant?

Blow in her ear.

A blonde was down on her luck. In order to raise some money, she decided to kidnap a kid and hold him for ransom. She went to the playground, grabbed a kid, took him behind a tree, and told him, 'I've kidnapped you.'

She then wrote a note saying,'I've kidnapped your kid. Tomorrow morning, put $10,000 in a paper bag and put it under the pecan tree next to the slide on the north side of the playground. Signed, A Blonde.' The blonde pinned the note to the kid's shirt and sent him home to show it to his parents.

The next morning the blonde checked, and sure enough, a paper bag was sitting beneath the pecan tree. The blonde opened up the bag and found the $10,000 with a note that said, 'How could you do this to a fellow blonde?'