Blonde

'Easy,' she replied. 'He only has one eye.'

The chief was stunned. 'He only has one eye because it is a profile shot! Think about it!' He repeated the procedure for the second blonde and again asked how she would recognize him.

'He only has one ear,' was her answer.

'What is the matter with you people?!? It is a profile shot! You are seeing him from the side!' He repeated the procedure for the third blonde, then said, 'How would you recognize the suspect? Now think before you give me a stupid answer.'

After viewing the photo, she thought for a minute, then said, 'He's wearing contact lenses.'

This took the chief by surprise. He looked real hard at the picture and couldn't tell if the suspect had contacts or not, so he went into the database and looked at the report. Sure enough, when the mug shot was taken, he was wearing contact lenses! He went back to her and asked, 'How could you tell he was wearing contact lenses? Nobody else here in this precinct saw that!'

'Well,' she said, 'he can't wear regular glasses with only one eye and one ear, now, can he?'

A: Both are blonde, brainless and made out of plastic.

The brunette balances their checkbook, then decides to take their last $600 dollars out west to another ranch where a man has a prize bull for sale. Upon leaving, she tells her sister, "If I decide to buy the bull, I'll contact you to drive out after me and haul it home."

The brunette arrives at the man's ranch, inspects the bull, and decides she does want to buy it. The man tells her that he can sell it for $599, no less. After paying him, she drives to the nearest town to send her sister a telegram.

She walks into the telegraph office, and says, "I want to send a telegram to my sister telling her that I've bought a bull for our ranch. I need her to hitch the trailer to our pick-up truck and drive out here so we can haul it home."

The telegraph operator explains that he'll be glad to help her, then adds, "It's just 99 cents a word."

Well, with only $1 left after paying for the bull, the brunette realizes that she'll only be able to send her sister one word. After thinking for a few minutes, she nods, and says, "I want you to send her the word, comfortable."

The telegraph operator shakes his head. "How is she ever going to know that you want her to hitch the trailer to your pick-up truck and drive out here to haul that bull back to your ranch if you just write, comfortable?"

The brunette explains, "My sister's a blonde. She'll read it slowly."

While her husband is at work, she decides that she is going to paint the living room in their house. So the next day as soon as he leaves, she gets down to the task at hand.

Her husband arrives home after work and smells the distinctive smell of paint. He walks into the living room and finds his wife lying on the floor in a pool of sweat. He notices that she is wearing a parka and a mink. He asks her what she is doing. She replies that she wanted to prove to him that not all blonde women are dumb and she wanted to do it by painting the room.

He says that he was impressed at the good job she had done, but what's with her wearing the two coats?
She replies that she was reading the directions on the paint can and they said, 'FOR BEST RESULTS, PUT ON TWO COATS!'