Blonde

One day a blonde is sitting on a plane next to one of those annoying, pushy businessmen. He asks her if she would like to play a game. She politely declines, but the man explains the game to her anyway.

He says, "It goes like this: I will ask you a question and if you get it wrong you will give me $5, and vice-versa."

She says no again, and tries to fall asleep.

The man tries harder, saying, "Aw, come on. I'll give you $50 for each question. Or how about $500?"

At that number, the blonde agrees.

The businessman explains again, "If you get my question wrong you give me $5. And when you ask the question, and I get it wrong, I will pay you $500.

"Got it," she replies.

He asks, "Who was the sixth president?" She admits she doesn't know and gives him $5.

Now it's her turn, and she says, "What has purple legs, five arms and only two yellow teeth?"

The businessman doesn't know - he uses his laptop, checks the Internet, e-mails his friends. No one knows the answer. So he gives her $500.00.

Then, as they're landing he asks her, "What was that thing anyway?"

She thinks a few minutes, hands him $5 and walks off the plane.

Q: What do a blonde and a taxi have in common?

A: Everyone's been in and out for $2.00.

A blonde walks into an appliance store, and asks to buy a television set.

"Sorry," says the owner. "We don't allow blondes in here." The blonde leaves and dyes her hair brown. The next day, she returns and asks to buy the television.

"Sorry," says the owner. "We don't allow blondes in here."

"Hey," says the blonde, shocked, "how'd you know it was me?"

"You've been trying to buy a microwave."

Two bored casino dealers were waiting at the craps tables for players when a gorgeous blonde lady walked in and asked if they minded if she bet twenty thousand dollars on a single roll of the dice. She said, 'I hope you don't mind, but I feel much luckier when I'm completely naked.' With that, she stripped off all her clothes and then rolled the dice while yelling 'Come on baby, momma needs new clothes!' She then jumped up and down, hugging each of the casino dealers while yelling 'YES, I WIN! I CAN'T BELIEVE IT, I WIN!!' With that, she picked up her winnings and clothes and quickly left.

The dealers stood there staring at each other dumbfounded, until one finally asked the other, 'What the hell did she roll anyway?' The second dealer answered, 'I thought you were paying attention!'