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Blonde


blonde's favorite nursery rhyme
 
 
What's a blonde's favorite nursery rhyme?

Humpme Dumpme

blonde ice fishing
 
 
A blonde wanted to go ice fishing, so after getting all of the right tools, she headed toward the nearest frozen lake. After getting comfy on her stool she started to cut a circular hole in the ice. Then from the heavens a voice boomed, 'THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE.'

Startled, the blonde moved further down the ice, poured a thermos of hot chocolate and started to cut yet another hole in the ice. The voice boomed, 'THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE.'

This time quite scared, the blonde moved to the far end of the ice. Then she started another hole and once again the voice said, 'THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE.'

The very scared blonde raised her head and said, 'Is that you, Lord?' The voice answered, 'NO. IT IS THE MANAGER OF THE ICE RINK.'

two blondes and two mice
 
 
There were two blondes as roommates and they both bought mice. When they got home the first blonde said, "How are we going to tell them apart?"

The second blonde said, "Why don't we take one and chop off one of its legs?"

But during the night the mouse with four legs said to the mouse with three legs, 'That's not fair -- I want three legs too.' So the mouse with three legs told him to eat one of his legs. And so he did.

The next morning the blondes were upset about this so they did the same thing as the day before. But again the mouse with three legs ate one of his legs. This went on until both mice had no tails and legs. Then one of the blondes shouted, 'All right, that's it! You take the black one and I'll take the white one!'

blonde - death in the family
 
 
One day, a blonde's neighbor goes over to her house, sees the blonde crying, and asks her what happened. The blonde said that her mother had passed away. The neighbor made her some coffee and calmed her down a little and then left. The next day the neighbor went back over to the house and found the blonde crying again. She asked her why she was crying this time.

'I just got off of the phone with my sister, her mother died too!'


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