Blonde

A blonde came home from school one day and said to her mom, 'I can count higher then all the kids in my second grade class, do you think it is because I am a blonde?'

Her mother replied, 'Of couse it is, dear.'

The next day, the blonde said, 'I can say the alphabet higher then anyone in my class, do you think it is because I am a blonde?'

Her mother replied, 'Of course it is dear!'

The next day the blonde came home from her gymnastics and asked her mother, 'I have a larger chest then all the kids in my class, do you think its because I am a blonde?'

Her mother replied, 'No dear, I think it is because you are eighteen years old."

One day, a blonde's neighbor goes over to her house, sees the blonde crying, and asks her what happened. The blonde said that her mother had passed away. The neighbor made her some coffee and calmed her down a little and then left. The next day the neighbor went back over to the house and found the blonde crying again. She asked her why she was crying this time.

'I just got off of the phone with my sister, her mother died too!'

A mathematician, a philosopher, and a blonde all go to Hell and receive a challenge from the Devil -- if they can stump him, they're free to go to heaven instead. The philosopher goes first and asks the Devil a very hard philosophy question -- to which the Devil snaps his fingers, gets a book, and gives the answer. The mathematician tries as well -- but the Devil instantly gets the answer. When it comes to the blonde, she pulls up a chair and drills three holes in it. She then sits down in the chair and farts.

"Now," she says, "which hole did the fart come out of?"

"That's easy," says the Devil. "All of them."

"No, stupid! It came out of my butthole!"

A blonde is walking down the street and a car pulled up next to her.

The man in the car says to her, 'What do you have in the bag?'

The blonde replies: 'I have chickens!'

The man thinks for a moment and says, 'If I can guess how many chickens you have in the bag, can I have one?'

The blonde thinks that it sounds fair and replies, 'Okay, but I'll make the bet even better! If you can guess how many chickens I have in the bag I will give you BOTH of them!"