Blonde

Two bored casino dealers were waiting at the craps tables for players when a gorgeous blonde lady walked in and asked if they minded if she bet twenty thousand dollars on a single roll of the dice. She said, 'I hope you don't mind, but I feel much luckier when I'm completely naked.' With that, she stripped off all her clothes and then rolled the dice while yelling 'Come on baby, momma needs new clothes!' She then jumped up and down, hugging each of the casino dealers while yelling 'YES, I WIN! I CAN'T BELIEVE IT, I WIN!!' With that, she picked up her winnings and clothes and quickly left.

The dealers stood there staring at each other dumbfounded, until one finally asked the other, 'What the hell did she roll anyway?' The second dealer answered, 'I thought you were paying attention!'

How do you get a one-armed blonde out of a tree?

Wave!

This blonde was walking down a road carrying a bag, when a guy came along.

The guy asks, 'What are you carrying?'

'Melons,' the blonde replies.

'Cool," the guy says. "If I can guess how many there are, can I have one of them?'

The blonde giggles and says, 'If you can guess how many there are, you can have BOTH of them.'

Why do blondes smile when lightening flashes?

Because they think their pictures are being taken.