Barroom

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Barroom


taking the bullet
Two guys are drinking together, when one of them throws up all over himself. "Christ!" he says, "My wife ish going to kill me."

His friend puts his arm around his shoulder and offers him 20 dollars. "Don't worry," he says, "I'm your besht friend - give her thish and tell her that I chucked up on your jacket, and that I gave you thish money to get it cleaned."

"Fantashtic," says the first guy. "You're amashing, really the besht."

Arriving home, the poor guy's wife opens the door. "Where the hell have you been, look at the state of you..." she kicks off.

Quickly he replies, "Look love, it's not really my fault. Jack threw up all over me, but you know he's really a nice guy 'cos he gave me 20 bucks to get my jacket cleaned..."

"But there are 40 dollars here," she replies.

"Oh, yeh, I forgot to tell you," he says, "Jack shat in my trousers as well."

tales from the shire
Two hobbits walk into a bar where one of them picks up a barfly. They taker her to a local motel; the first hobbit goes into the motel room while the other waits outside. Once the door closes, the hobbit on the outside hears starnge noises through the door, "I can't do it, I can't do it, I CAN'T DO IT!"

In the morning, the second hobbit askes the first, "How did it go?" The first one answers. "It was embarrassing. I simply couldn't do it."

The second hobbit shook his head. "Manhood problems, eh?"

"No. I couldnt get on the bed!"

taxi fare
A frat boy gets into the back of a cab, and asks the cabbie, "Do you have enough room up there for a Pizza and a six pack of Beer?"

The cabbie says, "Sure." So the frat boy leans forward and throws-up.

tequila poem
One Tequila... two Tequila... three tequila... FLOOR!

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