Barroom

Q: What's the difference between a beer and a woman?
A: You can have more than one beer and not feel guilty.

Three vampires walk into a bar. The first one says, 'I'll have a pint of blood.'

The second one says, 'I'll have one, too.'

The third one says, 'I'll have a pint of plasma.'

The bartender says, 'So, that'll be two Bloods and a Blood Lite?'

A cowboy rode into town and stopped at a saloon for a drink. Unfortunately, the locals had a habit of picking on strangers. So when he finished his drink, he found his horse had been stolen. He went back into the bar, handily flipped his gun into the air, caught it above his head and fired a shot into the ceiling. 'WHICH ONE OF YOU SIDEWINDERS STOLE MY HOSS?' he yelled.
No one answered.
'ALL RIGHT, I'M GONNA HAVE ANOTHA' BEER, AND IF MY HOSS AIN'T BACK OUTSIDE BY THE TIME I FINISH, I'M GONNA DO WHAT I DONE IN TEXAS! AND I DON'T LIKE TO HAVE TO DO WHAT I DONE IN TEXAS!'
Some of the locals shifted restlessly. The cowboy had another beer, walked outside, and his horse was back! He saddled up and started to ride out of town. The bartender wandered out of the bar and asked, 'Say partner, before you go. . .what happened in Texas?'
The cowboy turned back and said, 'I had to walk home.'

A man walks into a bar with a steering wheel shoved down his pants. The barman looks at him curiously and says, 'Buddy, you know you got a steering wheel shoved down your pants?' The man answers, 'Yeah, I know! It's been driving me nuts all day.'