Barroom

A drunk leprechaun was staggering home with a pint of booze in his back pocket when he slipped and fell heavily. Struggling to his feet, he felt something wet running down his leg.

"Please God", he implored, "let it be blood!"

A drunken man walks into a pub. Curious about the bartender's collection of steins on the mantel, he climbs up on a chair to have a look. He knocks over the old wooden one and it falls to the floor. When the man looks down, he sees a leprechaun. The leprechaun says, "You have freed me. Now I will grant you three wishes. What'll they be?" The guy says, "How about a botomless mug of Schnapps. Then it apears on the table in front of him. The man gulps and gulps untill he is sure that the mug would not run dry. Then the leprechaun says, "OK, you got two more wishes. What'll they be?" The man says "I like this one, how about two more just like it?"

What's the difference between men and beer?
When you're done with the beer it's still worth 5 cents.

A biker walks into a yuppie bar and shouts, "All lawyers are a**holes!" He looks around, obviously hoping for a challenge.

Finally a guy comes up to him, taps him on the shoulder, and says, "Take that back."

The biker says, "Why? Are you a lawyer?"

"No, I'm an a**hole."