"Good God! This feels just like my wife's ass!" The man whose head it is runs his hand over it, too.
"So it does! So it does!"
One man said, "Did you know that beer contains female hormones?"
The other man said, "No! Is it true?"
"Yes," said the first man. "If you drink too much, you start talking crap and you drive terribly."
The bartender replied, ' Down the hall and to your right.'
Then, the second pig came in and ordered two beers, and after 30 minutes, he asked where the bathroom was.
Once again, the bartender replied, 'Down the hall and to your right.'
After that, the third pig came in. He ordered three beers, and after 45 minutes, asked where the bathroom was.
The bartender told him the same as the other to.
The fourth pig came in, and ordered four beers, and after and hour, asked where the bathroom was.
The bartender told him the same thing as he told the other three.
After all this, the fifth pig came in and ordered five beers. After about an hour and a half, he had NOT asked where the bathroom was. The bartender was wondering why.
So he asked, 'Don't you want to know where the bathroom is like the other four pigs?' The fifth pig just looked up him and answered smartly,
'No. Because I'm the piggy that goes, 'Wee wee wee,' all the way home.'
An Irishman, Englishman and Scotsman go into a pub and each order a pint of Guinness. Just as the bartender hands them over, three flies buzz down and one lands in each of the pints.
The Englishman looks disgusted, pushes his pint away and demands another pint.
The Scotsman picks out the fly, shrugs, and takes a long swallow.
The Irishman reaches in to
the glass, pinches the fly between his fingers and shakes him while yelling, "Spit it
out, ya bastard! Spit it out!"
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