Barroom

A dog walks into a bar. He hops up on a bar stool and puts his front paws on the bar. He looks the bartender right in the eye and says, "Hey, guess what? I'm a talking dog. Have you ever seen a talking dog before? How about a drink for the talking dog?"

The bartender thinks for a moment and says, "Alright. The toilet's right around the corner."

A guy walks into a pub and says, 'Can you remove this steering wheel from my pants?'

The bartender says, 'Why is that there? Is it annoying?'

"Yes," the man said, 'it's driving me nuts."

This guy, about 40, walks into a bar and orders a drink. Then he pulls out a picture of a beautiful girl, about 20. He orders drink after drink after drink. Finally, the bartender asks why he's getting drunk
"I have to come home to this!' the guy says, pointing to the picture of the beautiful girl.
"What's wrong with her?' asks the bartender. 'She's beautiful and half your age!'
'Exactly. That's my daughter.'

A brunette walks into a bar and says, "Gimme an M L."

The bartender says, "What's an M L?"

The brunette says, "A Miller Light."

Another brunette walks in and says, "Gimme a B L"

The bartender says, "What's a B L?"

She says, "Bud Light."

A dumb blonde walks in and says, "Gimme a 15."

The bartender says, "What's a fifteen?"

The blonde says, "7&7, duh!"