Barroom

A mushroom goes into a bar and sits down to order a drink. The bartender walks over and says, 'I'm sorry sir, but we don't serve your kind here.'

The mushroom sits back and asks ,'Why not? I'm a fun guy (fungi)!

A very old, but respected man walked into a local tavern. He looked around at the decor and realized it was the holiday season. He saw his neighbor, drunk out of his mind. The old man stepped up to the neighbor and asked him a question, "Jack do you know what difference between the baby Jesus and your wife?"

"No," replied the dead drunk man.

"Well the baby Jesus slept with a jackass one night, your wife sleeps with one every night."

A man walks into a bar with a sandwich on his shoulder.

The bartender turns, looks at him and says, 'Sorry sir, we don't serve food here!!'

Joe walks into a bar. Joe's friend, Al, sits down next to him. Joe tells the bartender, “I'll take a large beer.”
The bartender says, “Do you want dry beer with no aftertaste, or brewed beer with aftertaste?”
Joe thinks about this for a minute. “Ah, give me the brewed.” So the bartender gives it to him and he chugs it.
“No, no,” says Al, “think manly! I'll have a dry beer.” The bartender goes to fix it.
“Why the dry?” Joe asks.
“Well,” says Al, “that way you can have one sip, and since it has no aftertaste, you can keep on drinking and forget you just had one!”