Barroom

Jokes » barroom » humor 23

Barroom


bar... duckman
 
 
A man walks into a bar with a duck on his head. The bartender says, "May I help you, sir?"

The duck says, "Yeah. Help me get this human out of my ass."

an englishman, a scotsman, an irishman
 
 
One day, an Englishman, a Scotsman, and an Irishman walked into a pub together. They proceeded to each buy a pint of Guinness.

Just as they were about to enjoy their creamy beverage, three flies landed in each of their pints and got stuck in the thick head.

The Englishman pushed his beer away from him in disgust.

The Scotsman fished the offending fly out of his beer and continued drinking it as if nothing had happened.

The Irishman, too, picked the fly out of his drink, held it out over the beer and then started yelling: "AH BEGORRAH! SPIT IT OUT, SPIT IT OUT!"

if you were my husband...
 
 
A woman at a party walked up to a man and told him, 'If you were my husband I would poison your drink."

The man replied, 'If you were my wife I would drink it.'

babe-raham lincoln
 
 
An older man wearing a stovepipe hat, a waistcoat and a phony beard sat down at a bar and ordered a drink. As the bartender set it down, he asked, "Going to a party?"

"Yeah, a costume party," the man answered, "I'm supposed to come dressed as my love life."

"But you look like Abe Lincoln." protested the barkeep.

"That's right. My last four scores were seven years ago."


Page 24 of 76     «« Previous | Next »»