Anti Joke

A blonde sat at the bar when the bartender's son swaggers in. When he tells his father of his promotion and raise, the bartender calls for everyone's attention and announces that all drinks are on the house. When the blonde heard this, she ran outside and brought back a ladder.

Why did the Jolly Green Giant get kicked out of the garden?

Statuatory rape of a gourd.

Three explorers were hiking through a vast forest that would eventually become Canada.

"You know," said the first explorer, "we should name this vast forest we're hiking through."

"I know," said the second explorer. "We'll each pick a letter and then make a name out of that."

"Good idea," said the third explorer. "You go first."

"Okay," said the first explorer. "C, ay."

"My turn," said the second explorer. "N, ay."

Unfortunately, before the third explorer could choose a letter, a bear jumped out of the trees and killed and ate all three explorers. Eventually, some guy came along and named the country after his aunt.

Why did the professional baseball player cross the road?

Because his gigantic ass commanded him to.