Animals

What do you get when you cross a kangaroo with a calendar?

A leap year!

A kangaroo mom with seven babies in her pouch told another kangaroo mom, 'These sleepovers are killing me!'

How do you get 1 1/2 pounds of meat out of a fly?
You unzip it!

There was this teacher who was teaching young kids the different types of animals, she showed them the picture of a giraffe, and asked them what it was. Nobody answered..so she gave them a clue, 'It has a long neck.' One kid answered, "Giraffe!" Pleased, the teacher showed a picture of a zebra. Nobody answered it again, so she gave them a clue. 'This animal has stripes.' "Zebra!" one kid answered. So she put up another one, that of a deer. The teacher could not think of a clue..but suddenly she came up with one!..she asked them 'what does your mother call your father?' Suddenly one child got up and answered 'HORNY BASTARD!'