jesus & the robber
One night a robber broke into a home and heard a voice say, 'Jesus is watching you!'while he rumagged through the desk. He replied, 'Who said that?!' Once again he heard the same thing, 'Jesus is watching you!'
The robber looked around the room only to see a parrot. He asked the parrot what its name was. The parrot replied, 'Cornelius.' The robber said, 'What kind of a name is that?! Who names a parrot that?!' The parrot said, 'The same person who named that rottweiler behind you Jesus!'
jumping rope
Two teenagers were walking through a park when they saw two rabbits getting it on, fast and furious.
"What are they doing?" asked the girl.
"They're jumping rope," said the boy. "Maybe I'll teach you how someday."
"I think I want you to teach me now," said the girl. So the two went behind some bushes and started getting it on. When the boy had his pants down, the girl asked what that was behind his "rope."
"That," said the boy, "that's my knot."
"Well," said the girl, "untie the knot and give me some more rope."
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