Animals

How do you get a hundred cows in a barn?

You hang up a bingo sign!

A lady was walking past a pet store when a parrot said, 'Hey, lady! You're really ugly!"  The lady was furious and continued on her way.

On the way home, she passed by the petstore again and the parrot once more said "Hey, lady! You're really ugly!"  She was incredibly ticked now, so she went into the store and said that she would sue the store and kill the bird.  The store manager apologized profusely and promised he would make sure the parrot didn't say it again.

The next day, she deliberately passed by the store to test the parrot. "Hey, lady!" it said.

"Yes?"

"You know."

What's invisible and smells like carrots?
Bunny farts!

Q: How did Britney Spears die while drinking milk?

A: The cow fell on her.