Animals

When the guy came to his senses, he reported the incident to the zookeeper. Nodding, the zookeeper explained that pulling down your eyelid means "screw you" in gorilla language. The explanation didn't make the victim feel any better - and he vowed revenge.

The next day, he purchased two large knives, two party hats, two party horns, and a large sausage. Putting the sausage in his pants, he hurried to the zoo and went right up to the gorilla's cage where he opened up his bag of goodies. Knowing that gorillas were natural mimics, he put on a party hat. The gorilla looked at him, reached through the bars, grabbed a hat from the bag, and put it on.

Next, the guy picked up his horn and blew on it. The gorilla reached out, picked up his horn, and did the same. Then the man picked up his knife, whipped the sausage out of his pants, and sliced it in half. The gorilla looked at the knife, looked at his own crotch, looked at the man, and pulled down his eyelid.

When the man arrives, he is carrying a shotgun, a chihuahua and a pair of handcuffs. The man says,'What are all of those for?'

The animal control officer says, 'I'll climb up in the tree, knock the gorilla down, the dog will bite him in the nuts and you must slap the handcuffs on his wrists.'

The man asks,'What is the gun for?'

The animal control officer responds, 'If I fall first, you shoot the dog!'

The bartender, confused, tells the ducks that no, his bar doesn't serve grapes. The duck thanks him and leaves.

The next day, the duck returns and says, "Got any grapes?"

Again, the bartender tells him that, no, the bar does not serve grapes, has never served grapes, and, furthermore, will never serve grapes. The duck, a little ruffled, thanks him and leaves.

The next day, the duck returns, but before he can say anything, the bartender begins to yell: 'Listen, duck! This is a bar! We do not serve grapes! If you ever ask for grapes again, I will nail your stupid duck beak to the bar!'

The duck is silent for a moment, and then asks, 'Got any nails?'

Confused, the bartender says no.

'Good!' says the duck. 'Got any grapes?'

He pulled off one of its legs and yelled 'hop!', and the grasshhoper hopped. Then he took another leg and yelled 'hop!' and the grasshopper hopped. Then he took all of its legs and yelled 'hop!' but the insect did not hop. He yelled again, but the insect did not hop.

So he came to the conclusion that when all the legs of a grasshopper are removed, it will become deaf.