Animals

What's the national bird of Afghanistan?

DUCK!!!

What do Alexander the Great and Kermit the Frog have in common?
Their middle names

There was this American tourist in Mexico, and he was getting tired of walking around, so he went up to a donkey rental place and said, 'Can I rent a donkey?'

The guy said, "We don't call them donkeys here, we call them asses. This is the only ass I have left, and you have to scratch him when you want to make him stop."

The guy rides his ass for a while, sees a hotdog stand, and asks for a hotdog. The vendor replies, "We don't call them hotdogs here we call the wieners."

Meanwhile his donkey is wandering away, so he goes up to another tourist and says "Will you hold my wiener whille I scratch my ass?"

What do you call an Amish man on the side of the road, with his hand up a horse's ass?
A mechanic.