Animals

What's invisible and smells like carrots?
Bunny farts!

A waitress walks up to a man to take his order.

"I'd like to get the turtle soup, please." The waitress walks off to go get his order, but the man changes his mind and decides he wants the pea soup instead.

"Hold the turtle, make it pea!"

Why does an elephant have four feet?

Because in the animal kingdom six inches just doesn't cut it.

Once a man walked into a bar and sat down at a booth.

Eventually, he and another man got into an argument about whose dog could whoop the other dog.

The man said, "Let's have a fight out back.'

'Okay' said the other.

When they got their dogs, one man opened a case and brought out a 12 inch long yellow dog.

That dog proceeded to kill every other dog in town.

When one man asked, 'Where did you get that dog?' the man said, 'Well, before I cut its tail off and painted it yellow, it was an alligator."