Animals

So one day the wife went to the pet store and said, "I need a good guard dog."

And the clerk replied, "Sorry, we're all sold out. All we have left is this little Scottie dog. But he knows karate."

The wife didn't believe him so he said to the dog, "Karate that chair."

The dog went up to the chair and broke it into pieces, then he said to the dog, "Karate that table." The dog went up to the table and broke it in half.

So the wife bought the dog and took it home to her husband who was expecting a big guard dog. But then she told her husband that it knew karate, and he said "Karate my ass!"

2) How do you put an elephant into a refrigerator?
You open the refrigerator, take out the giraffe, put in the elephant and close the door.

3) The Lion King is hosting an animal conference, all the animals attend, except one. Which animal does not attend?
The elephant. The elephant is in the refrigerator.

4) There is a river you must cross. But it is filled with crocodiles. How do you manage it?
You swim across -- all the crocodiles are attending the animal conference.