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the duck and the condom
 
 
Two ducks go on their honeymoon and stay in a hotel. As they are about to make love, the male duck says, 'Oh, we haven't got any condoms. I'll ring down to room service.' He calls and asks for some condoms.

The woman says, 'OK sir, would you like to put them on your bill?'

'No,' he says, 'I'll suffocate!'

blonde counting sheep
 
 
Once there was a blonde driving home from work when she saw a sheep farm. She stops and asks the farmer if she can have a sheep. The farmer says "If you can count all my sheep I'll let you have any one you want." The blonde looks around her for a moment and says, "You have 356 sheep." The farmer exclaims, "Wow -- you're exactly right. I guess blondes really aren't dumb. Now go pick yourself out a sheep."

The blonde makes her choice, picks it up, comes back to the farmer to thank him. "Oh no," he says, "you can't have that one." "Why not?" asks the blonde, "you said I could have any sheep I wanted." And the farmer says, "Ma'am, that's my dog."

blondog
 
 
Why does a blond dog have lumps on his head?

From chasing parked cars!

dog vs. fox
 
 
Q: What is the difference between a dog and a fox?
A: About five drinks.

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